You may be an Engineer if...

You may be an Engineer if... - Funny Joke And Cartoons " You may be an Engineer if... ". Amazing jokes, a large site with funny jokes and cartoons.

• If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"


• If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner


• If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie


• If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas


• If Dilbert is your hero


• If you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE


• If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes


• If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail


• If your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50


• If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place


• If you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys


• If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car


• If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts


• If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string


• If you window shop at Radio Shack


• If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies


• If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area


• If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run


• If you are convinced you can build a p out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment


• If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is


• If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven


• If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush


• If you own "Official Star Trek" anything


• If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside


• If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception


• If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project


• If you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor


• If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts


• If you have never backed-up your hard drive


• If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud


• If you truly believe aliens are living among us


• If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance


• If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"


• If you see a good design and still have to change it


• If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions


• If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it


• If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind


• If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are


• If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires


• If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal


• If you have more toys than your kids


• If you need a checklist to turn on the TV


• If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name


• If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work


• If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight


• If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it


• If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary


• If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel


• If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for


• If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal


• If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use


• If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting


• If people groan at the party when you pick out the music


• If you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week


• If you did the sound system for your senior prom


• If your checkbook always balances


• If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone


• If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life


• If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers


• If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep


• If you spend more on your home computer than your car


• If you know what http:/ stands for


• If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio


• If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage


• If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory


• If your lap-top computer costs more than your car


• If your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate