Seems about a year ago (1998) some airplane manufacturer employees decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747's.
They got it off the plane, out the gate and were having a good time fishing on the Stilliquamish. All of a sudden the Coast Guard Chopper came wop-wop-ing in, homing on the emergency frequency locator beacon that was activated when the boys inflated the raft at the river.
(Note: The boys are no longer with said aircraft company.)
Two dumb guys were taking their first train trip. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which they'd never seen before. Each bought one.The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, 'I wouldn't eat that if I were you.''Why not?''I took one bite and went blind for half a minute.'
There was a guy walking down the street with a parrot on his sholder and a black guy said where did you get that parrot and the white guy said,over there but I forgot.
A man who thought he was John the Baptist was disturbing the neighborhood, so for public safety, he was committed.
He was put in a room with another crazy and immediately began his routine, "I am John The Baptist! Jesus Christ has sent me!"
The other guy looks at him and declares, "I did not!"
A carpet-layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. 'No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,' he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. 'Here,' she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. 'I found them in the hallway.' 'Now,' she said, 'if only I could find my parakeet. '
There once was a cornish pasty on one side of the road.On the other side of the road was another pasty.the cornish pasty says to the other pasty "hello jimmy!" The other pasty says"me names not jimmy stupid its beefy"
